Friday

To Nicko Kiddo - " Alls fair in.......



I (handsome me on the left)am incensed. But I have learnt to keep my cool. A certain ‘chest thumping’ (tried in vain to find a picture of a baby gorilla doing that) has declared Blog War II. He has decided to launch attacks through the comment sections of KBW. He no doubt thinks its ‘Gorilla’ warfare. He has refused to show his face. I do not envy this young man for he has bitten off more than he can chew – my dentures vs. his milk teeth? Obviously no match!
This foot soldier (pictured on the right)has dreams of taking on a veteran general, decorated both by experience and age. I assure all of you that this general will not be cowed.

Go ahead kiddo dig your trenches and line up your toy soldiers and I will have you all for breakfast. I will chew you and spit you out- my dentures can handle that. That is the truth and “you can’t handle the truth!!!”- (Said with the voice of Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men.)

Truth is, I was once where you are now, young and blind to the real world. I can relate to your Matrix type thinking but if you think you are Neo then I am the Oracle and I have tonnes to teach you boy. And I know you think you are ONE… (I am betting you think Guess is Trinity!) I will unplug you for life!!!

Insecurity is a word that I am now not familiar with- I remember back when I was your age and the day to day challenges that came my way. Your challenges are very different these days. I have often heard and seen (my eyes and ears are fully functional) your type :
a. Arguing about which mathree has louder music (I know you are convinced it is actually music.)Or is painted with more colours!!
b. Wearing dreads because it makes you feel rebellious - sometimes artistic.
c. Referring to where you live as the ‘Hood’.
d. Talking like 50 Cent is one of your…. what’s the word -“homies”.

Please be informed that you taking me on is like TETU district taking on mother CHINA.
Finally, I know Guess is a fine styled up lady. She wrote some nice things about you in her post. Since I also know she is of unquestionable integrity, I am puzzled at what threats you and the Nyeri chapter of the mob used to have her paint you in such glorious colour.
Before you gorilla thump your spider chest and crack some ribs- take off that mask and take a good look at yourself in the mirror( climb up on a stool) then take your webby self back to your clinic and continue playing the tooth fairy.

HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT.

General Smurf.

16 comments:

kipepeo said...

oooh papa smurf!! i love it! its war! And im cheering with my pom poms and everything! LMAO @ tetu district up against china. where do you get these things papa smurf?

akiey said...

Rhaa,haha! My ribs are aching so baad & my neighbours must think am smoking something. Blue, from the blue corner come out charging at Nick in the red corner & left the crowd mesmerised,lol!
Am not going to take sides in this blog jihad but you bet I am turning my Tv off from now on. Eti: "Nyeri chapter of the mob,take off that mask..." I imagine Nick will pull your teeth out Blue, bila numbing your gums.
Lemme get a big bucket of popcorn, will be right back,lol!

UARIDI said...

Please Blue, do not hurt my nephew too much.

Mshairi said...

I am afraid this is a war you will lose and lose badly, Blue Poet.

No one, repeat, no one can beat my nephew in the blog wars.

The best thing you could do is give up and now:)

p.s. it is clear the side I am on...

Guessaurus said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Guessaurus said...

LOL oh my God, he has gone and done it, somebody's ass is in the crosshairs.
This is too too funny, do you have any idea the funny looks I am getting at work, yes, Akiey everyone thinks I smoked something at lunch!

(Thanks for the compliments and kind words by the way, Blue)

The Nyeri Chapter of the Mafia did not bribe me, or threaten me - no dosh or dentures (money or molars) were poured - and I still have all the hairs in my nostrils :)

My boy Nick - please dont fight this man - you may be excellent at this blog war business, but this man sounds serious - I am only saying this coz I dont want to see you hurt - coz then you might scurry off to your wifey to lick war wounds and leave me lonely and my pride battered and bruised.

But, I still maintain I am on the fence on this one - and with Akiey - no, we are still not creeping around - I shall have a bucketful of popcorn and some juice.

We have lift-off ladies and gents... :)

nick said...

@Grandpa Poet:
1.i agree ur more experienced, secure, wise only cause am half your age. I agree ur more experienced, secure, wise only cause am half you age.
repeated that just in case u have memory loss thats prevalent in aging kamba's!
2.back when u were my age?
-there were no mathrees then
-there were no hoods
-50cent was motile germ cell

3.why u messing with me? is it so that youth can rub off on you? is it so that ladies know ur macho? is it for ratings on your blog?

@kipepeo:did u hear what he said about you
@akiey:he has no teeth just flapping his plain ol gums!!!
@uaridi:Thanks for the support
@mshairi:The REAL poet, i knowu got my back
@guess:enough of me to go around!

kinyi said...

"Before you gorilla thump your spider chest and crack some ribs- take off that mask and take a good look at yourself in the mirror( climb up on a stool) then take your webby self back to your clinic and continue playing the tooth fairy."

OUCH!
I think I should start heating up the butter for the popcorn...

Milonare said...

Hahahahahaha *struggling for breath in between guffaws*

This is just too hilarious!!! Ati cracking ribs and comments made twice in case of memory loss.

Someone should keep and index of all other blogs where this battle is being waged - I don't want to miss even a single encounter...

ROTFLMAO

Poi said...

Hhahahaa, u r funny, funny! The fight is on!Sitted on the face, damn me! I can't trace my blood origin, I gat it all mixed up.

But, am watching pops smurf, donn wanna miss none et al...

Wambui said...

forget the popcorn - i have cubed sugar cane and perfected the art of spitting from corner of mouth...bring it on - Round ONE! (Bells peeling in background!)

joani said...

hehehe this is getting quite amusing! ^^

Luna said...

hahahaha..this is hilariuss!! ati get up on the stool..hahah..

Im rethinking a prev comment i left..Nick with that aging kambas comment i think u may be a real contender..

Farmgal said...

papa smu..........rf, am deff on your side. I dont care how much nick(homie) is going to thump his chest we ar winning this one. i am cheering on top of ma voice and wiping any sweat off. ati nick is using toy soldiers???!!lol
blog war for life!

Prousette said...

haiya blue fahali waonane uwanjani!!!
May the nest man win but I would like to have you both in one piece

spicebear said...

hey, what in the world is wrong with dreads? shall be keeping a close eye on this one