Wangu of The Mugumo Tree Part II

So promptly at seven ocklock Kinuthia was at the fig tree waiting for Wangu. She didnt keep him waiting for too long- she arrived just as the sun was sinking in the horizon. Kinuthia pushed Wangu against the Mugumo tree and put his hands up her blouse. His hard hands squeezed her breasts as one does when checking the pressure on a bicycle tire. His thumb and forefinger moved to her nipple roughly tweaking it. Wangu doesn’t like the feeling at all and she tries to pry herself away from Kinuthia. Reluctantly he let go of her but held on to her hand and said to her in a raspy voice laden with excitement:
"Riiu tudu uturaga ikinjira jiitiirii ndigutuma nyumanii ni wendo?
Ndaguthaitha tuthiii uhii uhanini na ndigakuhuya ringi. Nitutonye nahau undiikiirie!"
Since you always tell me to wait don’t you think I will burst because of this love(need)?
Lets get into that maize field and get it over with.
Her reply was quick and Kinuthia could not believe his luck.. … “Nandungicunuka! Ni ndiri mundu wa kuheana mahutiini- Nduara handu hangi”
Shame on you! I am not one to just give you in the bushes.. take me somewhere else.
"Nituthii cube yakua uhe- muthee na maitu niimathiiri mahoya": Lets go to my cube you give me- mom and dad have gone for prayers.
“Niui nguendete gukira nguacii cia maitu na meru ma maragua- taahutia wiguii uria ndinawendo.”
You Know I like you more than my mothers sweet potatoes or bananas from Maragua- touch me and feel how hard my love is!
Kinuthia directs her hand to his throbbing anticipation. He remembered the last time had sex- about 6 months ago with Peninah right here under this very tree. He had planted her firmly against the tree and had enjoyed having her legs around his waist. *** details removed by author due to explicit nature*** Peninah would later tell all her friends that all she got from this encounter was mahuti in her hair. But Kinuthia KNEW he had satisfied himself and her too in those action packed 3 minutes. Now he was getting really excited. He grabbed Wangus hand and quickly made his way through the ‘maveve’(maizefield).
He was 28 years old and he had done very well for himself- 5 girls – no simple feat for a young man his age. His pals- Kamau Nduati and Srystone- were so impressed with his exploits that most of them came to him for advice ( of course he always exaggerated and told them he had been with ten girls and his first was when he was 20). Only yesterday Kamau had come to him asking what to do about his problem of immature ejaculation. Kinuthia had explained to him that as long as he was ‘inside’ when this happened then it was allright because this is what makes a girl feel good. “Uguo niguo mendaga” that’s how they like it. He further explained to Kamau that once he becomes more experienced(like himself) he would be able to keep going for upto five minutes. This advice Kamau received with disbelief: “Ndagika 5.. icio ni nyingi muno.. mundu ndagikuraguu anagote muno!!!”
"5 minutes.. That’s Way too long.. one must be really tired after that."

Kinuthias ‘cube’ is about 15 metres from the main house, partly hidden by the huge Mango tree that he had loved to climb as a youngster. When in season, the mangoes fell on his tin roof at times shocking him awake in the middle of the night. The room was not very large but it was comfortable. He had a nice bed and he had taken great care to collect newspapers and magazines pages to cover the walls. On the right side of his bed was a poster of a half naked Japaneese model which he had lovingly cut out of a 1992 calender. He also had several posters from'True Love' and 'Drum' and ‘The Pulse’ magazine, serving as wallpaper. These he was partcularily proud of because the younger girls were interested in Roughstone, Wahu, Nameless, Issa, Kleptomaniacs and other contemporary Kenyan artists. He KNEW he impressed them when he sang along to The ‘Gambler’…. “… You never cound yua mony when u a sitting at the tamble… They will mbe time enough for counding.. when ndeerings ndone.”

In one corner sat a one speaker Sanyo radio cassette and about 10 ‘compacts’. He had the latest of Salim, Man Mike, Queen Jane and several Kamaru oldies. He also had Kenny Rogers and Roger Whittaker and Dolly Parton. He had spent the whole morning tidying his room in anticipation of bringing Wangu here this evening. He had swept his dirt floor clean and had even sprinkled some water over it to give a smooth cemented look.
He pulled Wangu into the cube and placed her on the bed. Kinuthia could smell the arousing smell of Suzanna Pomade from her ‘Curly Kit’. At least she wasn’t a ‘kariko’ like some other girls. He turned to his Sanyo boom box and…….


Milonare said...


The much anticipated. Well worth the wait! Hahahahahaha... checking the pressure on a bicycle tire.

Ebu I go laugh kidogo more then I return!!!


bankelele said...

WOW! - this is too funny. Wahome Mutahi lives, but I fear the Blue Poet will be forced into exile once again.

Mshairi said...

This is very funny, Blue and much needed today.


I cant wait for part II to hear what Wangu has to say (I laughed when I read about her 'just mahuti in the hair' opinion:)

Msanii_XL said... you killing it. Hilarious stuff...well worth the wait might I add..

Wambui said...

Yay! Wangu is back and rocking! Brilliant...

Medusa said...

Funny. You had to go there with the 'gambler' Btw,just saw this kyuk movie titled 'Mutikunyarira'- I bet you'd love it.

Nakeel said...

eeeh Blue you have taken all the weekend laughter thats very hilarious bro... i 2nd Bankelele

UARIDI said...

You forgot Charlie Pride

nick said...

-there is nothing as refreshing as raw writing! u have graphically described what really happens out there and its such a treat reading it. yaani from my many trips i can see many idle faces that are prolly pulling out this tu-routines/tu-quickies

-ati 5minutes:lol. i loved the fact u called it immature not even premature LMAO!!!!!!

-what happened to ABBA classics!!! and Don Williams

-Ouch ati he had even gone the extra mile to sprinkle some water on the floor...hee heee heee

SHOBALI said...

Perhaps this is what they call "Love brewed in the African Pot". Nick is right, this is as raw as it gets.

nick said...

Njeri from the sleeze news told me to forward you this message: "hutia kiunuthia wakua hutia...hutia kinuthia wakwa hutia!!!"

Luna said... have truly sufficed!! By the sprinkling water on the dirt floor I almost had tears in my eyes!...hahahah!
uve made my day!

kipepeo said...

ok that is an amazing piece...i'll be laughing for a while to the lyrics of not counting money at the table...where du get these things from papa smurf?

Prousette said...

You doggone and overdone yourself again.
I love this love story (if any)
But really THIS is how some situations work
lol @ checking the pressure of a bicycle tyre aie...

Blue Poet said...

@Milo- Am I safe?
@Bankelele- am honoured to have my name said in the same breath with the great Whispers. I dont deserve it but thanx.
@mshairi- hang in there Part III- The Last Frontier will be here soon.
@Msanii- Thanx bro
@Wambui- great that youve enjoyed it.
@Medusa- thingiu muno- im looking for that copy right away. Hell I'll probably do a review.
@Nakeel- thunx a ole eap.
@uaridi- You are right, missed out ol Charé Prinde... In part III for sure.
@ENEMY(nick)- Thanx old foe- I dont know how I missed AMBBA...
@shobali- Is raw a compliment?
@Luna- Thanx
@Kipepeo- remember I am half Nicks tribe!!!
@ Prousette-LOL.. Kikuyu love story


Milonare said...


Was still laughing and you better believe it!!! Pin-pinning a chickdee against a tree - shameless jamaa! The tree bark would injure her back!

Safe from?

Still loving the Yoda by the way!!! Almost feel like calling you blueish-green mzee mfupi LOL

Guessaurus said...

Blue - LMAO - I dont know whats funnier, the story or the Kyuk lines in them - direct direct - I am sure this still happens somewhere and would I love to be a bird on the mugumo tree (Ok, voyeurism kando)listening to this exchanges, and probably singing dolly parton...

You are real dude, real real - and I will not ask the question about whether you did this in your not so far off youth? Oh, sorry, did i just ask!

Loving Yoda up in here too!!!

Stunuh Jay said...

Ati a three minute man! that's the stretch of imagination...!!! Haha... too funny.
But the suspense is killing me!
well....when will the next episode be published?

Shiroh said...

LOL,you can be hilarious.

gishungwa said...

kwanza the susana pomade, kwa urembo wa kudumu he he and the sanyo boom box plus the magazines stuck on the wall aka wallpapers. you are great, totally hilarious long live the blue poet.

M said...

The things you smoke !!!

Milonare said...

Welcam to the tag world bruh:

akiey said...

Blue, haha, your smart writing can turn the sun behind the Mugumo tree Blue,lol!
-With explicit content like this hope you see why I had to let the little kid in my avatar go home & play...?
The dialogue b/n the two really amused me & am sure the same is happening somewhere as I write this,lol!

@Guess, you too feel some of this tsuff is too original to be a fantasy, right? Blue hebu toboa...ulifanyafanya haya mambo...ok, Wangu ndiye aliyekufanya ufanyefanye,lol!
-Lol! @: posters from'True Love' and 'Drum' and ‘The Pulse’ magazine, serving as wallpaper. You killed me Blue!!
-Awaiting the sequel....

Irena said...

OMG this is hilarious
The"cube" with the newspaper wall papers :-) and the ngambler song eissh...How come Kyuk back in the day loved country music that much? I still secretly kinda reminesce with Kenny Rogers when I miss my paros .. please don't laugh at me:-))